I need to have as much wild sex as possible so one day I can become an inappropriate old lady that blurts out things like “when I was your age I got a concussion after being bent over a desk” and then my family can be like “grandma please, you’re making easter dinner really uncomfortable” and it’ll be great
one time at lunch this boy handed me a banana and said “haha pretend it’s a dick” so I looked him in the eye and broke it in half and dropped it on the floor. white boys must be stopped.
if you ever want to hear the neon genesis evangelion theme at any time just call 309-889-0497
i just set it up and it seems to be working
if you’re at the club and someone asks for your number just give them this
this hedgehog is cheering for u bc u can do anything
"you can’t ship three people together!!!"
tagging nsfw is hilarious like it’s just like you’re in a room with a shitload of people and you shout PORN and then some people cover their eyes and others stare at you in anticipation
(Source: kaitokirishima, via hauntingly-sweet-tart)
“ Are you the SAT because I’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes with a 10 minute break halfway through for snacks, and then I can stare at you for like 10 minutes and think ‘wow, I hope I don’t ruin this.’ ”
Dude on OKC with the best pick up lines I have ever heard (via katamarang)
30 notes y’all
30 notes and I will post a (lame quality :D, whachu gonna do) cover of Bad Blood by Bastille. cause, well, why not?